Deal A Meal

Thinking back to the old Richard Simmon's Deal A Meal commercials I thought I could modify it to help the kids eat better and to make it fun.

 Each day the girls get 7 index cards.
 ~5 Fruit/veggie (1 card = mommy's idea of the serving size)
 ~2 Water (1 card = 1 bottle of water)

On top of the cards they get every day they get 5 more for the week.
 ~3 Junk (1 card = snack size portion of cookies or chip, 1 cupcake, 1 small piece of cake)
 ~2 Soda (1 Card = 1 Soda)

Every Sunday I give them all 12 cards.

They turn the in when they are hungry. They can't ask for a soda if their water cards are there and they can't ask for a junk snack if they have fruit and veggies cards left. They use the fruit/veggie cards everyday. I give them to the girls in the morning. The soda and junk snack they get on Sunday and when they run out they run out. If they use all their Junk in one day they have to eat only healthy foods for the rest of week. We also have an Exercise card that we keep points on. 15 mins for a walk, bike ride, jumping jacks, running, etc... = 1 point. When they get to 10 points they get to pick an activity with Mommy or Daddy for special alone time. The kids are loving it. It's like a card game for them.

 This is all just the minimum of good food they should have a day and maximum of junk for the week.  They still have their meals and fruits and veggies eaten during the meals count to use a card.

Everybody will be happy and healthy and before we know it the kids will be grabbing the fruits and veggies as second nature. Win!

Free Free Free!

I was talking to a friend on facebook today and we were swapping horror stories. It made me think of this incident and I wanted to share it. Way to long for a comment in a facebook post so I figured I'd share it with everyone.

About 4 years ago Emily and Katie were very very sick. I took both girls to the doctor and they almost called 911 to have Katie transported to the ER. She was wheezing very badly but we were able to raise her oxygen levels in the office. Both girls had high fevers, wheezing, coughing... everything you can imagine. At the time Katie was 1 and Emily was 3. After spending HOURS at the doctors office we left with 7 prescriptions. Knowing how expensive this was going to be the doctor gave me a coupon for a free inhaler to help ease the cost. I drove to the pharmacy and dropped everything off. I handed the girl at the window the coupon for the free inhaler and made sure to tell her about it so she didn't miss it. They told me it would be about an hour. They didn't have chamber for the inhaler so Katie could actually use it so I went to a pharmacy about 2 miles down the road to put in the prescription for the chamber. I didn't want to take the meds to other pharmacy because we use the same one every time and they would be more likely to catch a drug interaction.

After dropping everything off I took Katie and Emily home. I gave them medicine for their fevers and they fell asleep. I had Blaze watch the girls while I quickly ran out to get the prescriptions... or so I thought.

I drove to the first pharmacy and pulled up to the window...

Me: I need to pick up for Katie and Emily Even.

Bimbo: That will be $125.00.

Me: Ok, did you use the coupon for the free inhaler?

Bimbo: The inhaler is $15.00.

Me: Yes but I have gave you a coupon for a free one.

Bimbo: I understand. It's $15.00.

Me: No, it should be free.

Bimbo: Look... you can't just get stuff for free.

Me: I can if I have a coupon for a free inhaler.

Bimbo. Somebody has to pay for this. Who is going to pay?!

Me: I imagine the manufacturer.

Bimbo: Katie doesn't have insurance.

Me: Yes she does.

Bimbo: We don't have it on file. She's never used this pharmacy before.

Me: Yes she has but here is the insurance card.

Bimbo. She has never been here before if you ask her she'll tell you that.

Me: She ONE!

Bimbo: I need 15 minutes to put this information in the computer, can you come back?

Me: Fine.

At this point I drive to the other pharmacy and pick up the chamber. I got back to the first pharmacy. This takes about 20 minutes. I pull up the window and...

Me: I need to pick up for Katie and Emily Even.

Bimbo: Yeah... Katie doesn't have insurance.

Me: I just gave you the card. You told me you needed 15 minutes to put it in the computer and asked me to come back.

Bimbo: Oh yeah... I just like got back from a 15 minute break. Let me put her info in. Can you come back in 15 minutes?

Me: Are you serious right now?

Bimbo: I guess you can wait here.

Me: *furious stare*

Bimbo: I need Katie's insurance card.

Me: I GAVE you her insurance card and you told me to come back so you could get the info in the computer!

Bimbo: Yeah... Katie does have insurance but Kelly does.

Me: What person code did you use?

Bimbo: 1

Me: That would be my husband. Katie's person code is 7... WHICH IS CLEARLY PRINTED ON THE INSURANCE CARD YOU ARE HOLDING IN YOUR HAND!!!

Bimbo: Yeah she's not in our system.

Me: PUT HER IN THE SYSTEM!

Bimbo: Kelly's person code is 2.

Me: I AM KELLY. THIS IS FOR KATIE! CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME THE KEYBOARD AND I WILL PUT HER IN THE SYSTEM!

Bimbo: Hold on please. (20 minutes later) That will be $75.00.

Me: Was the inhaler free?

Bimbo: Umm yeah... that was never an issue.

I just paid for the prescriptions and just drove away. I needed to get back home for the girls. When I pulled up to the pharmacy I was on the phone with my friend Deanna. I put the phone on my lap to talk to the woman at the pharmacy and Deanna was a trooper. She stayed on the phone the WHOLE time. Every time the woman opened her mouth I could hear Deanna HOWLING with laughter. Had she not been on the phone she would never had believed that all actually happened.

What a fun day that was!!!

Pastor's Prayers

I was looking up stuff from one of my favorite Pastors. He would speak at the church I used to go to once in awhile and it seemed like he fell off the face of the earth in the last 3 years. I came across a sermon he recently preached where he explained where he has been. He had a HUGE ministry and he lost everything because he fell into sin. He was so humble and repentant about it. He was so broken and it shocked me that I had no clue what was going on. I felt so sad for him. He struggled, lived in poverty, lost friends, lost his family, lost his ministry and even received thousands of emails from people telling him how he let them down and even some death threats. He has come out of this restored by the Grace of God and is putting his life back together piece by piece.

I wished someone would have at least said he was struggling and we should pray for him. Didn't have to be specific just that he needed prayer. Yes he is a Pastor but it turns out he's human. Just realized how badly our Pastors need our prayers. We depend on them so much. We all share our lives and problems with them and just think they can handle it all on top of their own personal issues. It hit me hard that I SHOULD have been praying for him all along regardless of knowing his situation.

This has been on my mind all day and it hit me how hard it must be to be a Pastor. I would be HORRIBLE at it! With so many people sharing with them it has to be hard for them to keep their mouths shut! I can't imagine the temptation of gossip I would be under if I was in this position. I think about the things I've shared with my Pastors and had a moment of panic. Thankfully I feel I have very trustworthy Pastors. How hard would it be not to let the knowledge you have about someone affect the way you treat them? Seriously... I would be the worst Pastor EVER. I can't manage to not beat myself us about my own issues. I don't know how they show such love and mercy towards everyone.

It was a huge revelation to me today and yet it seemed so simple and obvious. I find that I pray the least for the people I ask to pray for me. I always feel like they have more of a connection than I have so they don't need me. That's my own issues of self worth. I shouldn't be putting that on them. I'll be making an extra effort to pray for the Pastors in my life. They give me so much. I learn so much from them. I grow because of the teaching they bring every week. I connect with God through the music they bring into each service. I'm not so sure I would have gotten through the last couple of months so well without them. At the very least I can give them serious prayers everyday.

Got Blessings?

It's Christmas. If you look around and listen closely you'll hear of everybody talking about what they've given this time of year. We do it. My girls raise money to buy toys for Toys For Tots all year long and we go out at Christmas and they each get to pick a toy. I'm proud of my girls and have no problem telling people how wonderful they are! ;) We don't tell the girls they have to give. We just leave the jar out and they give when and what they want. I love that they willingly put money in every year. My favorite part of this tradition is it keeps the kids focused on others throughout the year.

As much as I don't like Christmas I do love the spirit of giving you see this time of year. I just wonder why so many people only have this spirit of giving at Christmas. (NOT excluding myself here) There are so many families that struggle nowadays. They struggle all year long. Good hard working people that are doing their best to make ends meet and they just can't make it happen. We are FAR from being rich but when I see other families struggling I feel so blessed for what we have and it reminds me that it wouldn't take much for us to be where they are. Why don't more people extend this throughout the year?

I'm not just talking about money. Sure there are times where we can give money. We try to find a good organization that is trustworthy and give what we can which isn't all that much! Sometimes people just need a friendly face, someone to listen to them, just someone to care.

I know I'm MORE than guilty of not always doing what I should. Of not giving out of fear of what I will lose if I do.

We have all these saying we use. "You reap what you sow." You get what you give." Whether you're a Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, or even Atheist most people believe in some kind of "Karma." Whatever you believe I can tell you how true this really is. So be selfish... be charitable! Just try it. I once gave a small amount of money to someone in need during a time where we just didn't have the extra money to spare. 2 days later I got a check in the mail from a completely unexpected source for 3 times the amount of money I had given.

So yes the Christmas spirit is a beautiful thing. Let's just keep it close to us instead of picking it up after Thanksgiving and dropping it after Christmas. What a beautiful world we'd live in if everybody did this. Though all this rambling my point is... you can be the answer to someones prayers on May 19th just as much as you can on December 25th.

I hope and pray I'm teaching this my kids. Truth is I learn far more from their innocence than I ever imagined possible.

Keep The Change

No this isn't a blog post about Obama...

"You'll never discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."

Wow... how true is THAT? In the last year or so I've set out to change a lot of things about myself. Working with my therapist to just be better in general. To learn how to deal with the depression and anxiety I face on a regular basis. I've made a TON of progress and I'm far better off then I was when I started. As much improvement as I've made with dealing with depression and anxiety there are still many areas in my life that are exactly where they've been for years. These are the deep rooted issues that come from hurt and being abused. When you add that to the struggles everyone deals with when it comes to self esteem and self worth you're just left with a big mess. In my head I like to think I'm really good at hiding the mess. I'm sure it's much more obvious to those around me than I let myself believe.

As we know from previous posts I've somehow landed back in Church again. As much as I know how that happened, I have no clue how that happened. You know the phrase "be careful what you ask for, you just might get it?" Well I had no clue how true that one was! In my case my "ocean" is freedom from these issues that just lie underneath. Things that aren't dealt with but so affect who we are. As crazy as it sounds these things are not only hard to get rid of but scary as well. Getting back to Church... I was so done. So done with God and everything that came along with Him. Yet I would find myself praying. One day I made the probably one of the best mistakes I've ever made. I told God that I didn't know how to deal with any of this. I then said (and even used as a facebook status) "Ok, God. I give up." At the time I had a hard time believing there was actually anyone on the other end of that call. Ok sometimes I still do. I still struggle with all of this but can't deny what has happened since that day. I can only imagine what went through God's head... (does he have a head?) when I said that. I just picture Him thinking "well thank Me. It's about time!" The problem is when you tell God you don't know what to do and give up... he takes over.

That should be a good thing. Ok I'm sure it is. It's just the second we ask for God to change things and us he does... and if you're anything like me you fight it the whole time. What's really crazy is most of these are just little baby steps. I however must have the safety of that "shore" which I'm sure all the faithful readers are thinking "Uhh it doesn't get any safer than God idiot." I'm glad you know that. I still have to find it.

I don't accept love or compliments well. Just don't believe the compliments nor do I believe that I'm worth all that much love. So OF COURSE people started complimenting me and telling me they love me. I know! Crazy right?! First time it happened it was just a passing comment in a facebook message. A "hey we love you" thing. I read it... and then walked away from the computer. What do you say to that? Well I suppose a "normal" person wouldn't think much of it. I ignored the entire message. Eventually had to fess up and tell this person I was uncomfortable and didn't know what to say or even how to process it. THANKFULLY this was a trustworthy person. Now it just seems to keep happening. That feels so wrong to even say. I mean seriously... how egotistical does it sound with me telling you how people are saying I'm fabulous? Just feels all kinds of wrong... and still don't know what they are seeing.

This I can't believe I'm even going to fully admit. I enjoyed the Christmas Eve service at Church more than I'm comfortable with. Actually felt a bit cheery. What an odd feeling for me to have this time of year! Walked out of Church and thought "what was that?! In the words of Forrest Gump... "That's all I have to say about that"

I have personal space issues. You stay in your bubble and I'll stay in mine. Never been a "hugger". Some people hug anybody and everybody. I don't understand those people... AT ALL. I'm a very friendly person. Most people are surprised to learn this about me. Unless I married you or gave birth to you I probably don't want to hug you. When I know I'm meeting someone for the first time I have to mentally prepare myself that they might be a "hugger." If I don't and they go in for a hug there is a very awkward moment where I quickly step back leaving them hanging in the air. I think it's an abuse thing. I've had people touch me physically to harm me and that just leaves me not trusting the whole issue. So naturally I've got "huggers" EVERYWHERE. I was at the gas station today and a woman dropped her keys. I picked it up and handed it to her and she just grabbed me in a hug to thank me. My first thought was... "did she just steal my wallet or something?" I didn't see it coming. After making sure my wallet was there it occurred to me it's just something I have to learn how to be ok with.

*Disclaimer* If you are reading this and have recently hugged me... it's ok. If I have allowed you to hug me it means I kinda think you're at the very least an ok person who doesn't intend harm. :) If I've hugged you back... you're one of the rare people I actually trust.

Just funny to me that things we want so badly can be so hard to accept. I imagine God is now shaking his head (?) thinking "You said you gave up now get out of my way."

The shore is getting a little further away. What's coming next scares me a bit but I did ask for it. Game on, God. Game on.

Radically Lost

This morning when the kids were getting ready for school we were talking about memory boxes. I went and pulled mine out from my childhood. First thing I came across was a letter written by one of my Youth Pastors about a Discipleship program we did called Radically Saved. Based on a Carman song... whom I loved and was hoping to marry one day. Which would have been creepy given the age difference. :)



I kinda laughed thinking that I was ever in a Discipleship program or that I ever considered myself "Radically Saved." I've always felt a sense of wrongness about myself. Even when I'm right I feel wrong. Which is why I tend to go overboard on the being right thing... maybe trying to convince myself... Sorry, talk to myself there for a second. I started going to Church around the end of Elementary School. One day went up to the Altar and said a prayer. At that point I was told I was "saved." Saved from what? My life was a mess. Things at home were pretty scary. I was bullied in school and sometimes outside of school. My kid brain told me I did it wrong. If I was saved then... well I'd be saved from all of that. I was young. Had no clue what I was doing. So since it didn't seem to take the first time I said the prayer again. Nothing changed. I think I said that prayer every single Sunday for 10 years. Waiting for the saved part to kick in.

As I was going through this box of stuff I've kept I came across many things I couldn't figure out why I would keep. This letter being one of them. I found a bunch of notes that I received from friends way back in the days where we had to actually write things... ON PAPER. I know! I kinda read through some of them and noticed so many people encouraging me in these letters about God. I posted an update on Facebook about people trying to save my soul since Elementary School and how weird that was. I mean I went to church, was in youth group, on the Drama team, on the Dance team, babysat for half the church, went on 2 missions trips and even had my first... well stuff I shouldn't have had from a nice Christian boy at Church... or maybe a not so nice Christian boy. I'll stop there before I break out in a Tori Amos song... Ok, maybe another song.

(Heads up... just as a warning the lyrics to this song WILL be taken as sacrilegious by many people. Nevertheless it fits.)




...ANYWAY, I had this whole Church existence but these things went back before Church. How? I didn't know anything about God before Church. Then I remembered a story I've been told my whole life about how when I was around 5 I told a family friend that he has to love me because it's "God's way." How did I know about God? No clue. This goes back FAR before I ever went to Church. I can remember laying in bed as a child and praying. Who was I praying to when I didn't know who God was?

Did you ever have a moment where you think something and then you wonder if you thought it or if somehow God was talking to you? Then you go through the whole was that me crap? I made a comment that people were trying to save me since Elementary School and was overwhelmed with a feeling of "No, I have been pulling at you since you were born." Then I thought wait... "who is "I?" I mean it can't be me since I am I so how could I be pulling at me. Did you follow that? If so, good. Welcome to my crazy. If not let's move on...

Throughout my whole "church life" I've had different Youth Pastors and known a lot of people from Church. I was even the babysitter for the Pastor. I mean the head guy! I knew these people but I didn't KNOW these people. Now here I am years later searching for some kind of answers. Trying to find God in this mess of a world. Trying to find "Saved." I've been talking to Pastor Mucci from ALC for a couple of months now... and even back in Church. Which by the way I swore to no god I would never ever go back to a Church again and yet there I am every Sunday now. I was thinking the other day about how I started talking to Pastor Mucci again. I honestly couldn't remember how it happened. Other than an occasional comment on Facebook how did I start a conversation with him? Went back over many many messages and found the first one I sent him in September. I had tickets to a Marriage Seminar and Nick and I couldn't make it. I was really disappointed we couldn't go but contacted Pastor Mucci to see if he knew anybody who could use them. How nice of me, right? Then I started talking to him... sharing things with him. Things I hadn't really told anybody before. I don't know why. I can't explain it. It should have been "Here are the tickets, glad someone can use them" and then back to the occasional Facebook comment.

My life has been much more of a Lost journey rather than a Saved one. I've noticed the things and the people God put in my life from very early on. People I barely knew way back to what seems like a lifetime ago. Never would had guessed these things and these people were put there then to be such a comfort and support 28 years later. I was totally bummed missing that marriage seminar, yet missing it opened the door for the guidance I needed. I didn't understand why I would keep that letter. For some reason though... I kept a Radically Saved letter from 1988. I think I kept that letter just so I could find it today. Just to start the thought process of how present God has been since before I can even remember.

Am I "Saved" now? Still a little lost. Still A LOT of doubt and reasoning that get in my way. However am I blessed? Without a doubt in my mind...

Thanksbitching

Once upon a time there was a happy yet crazy family. They got together every year on Thanksgiving and had a fabulous time. Each person's crazy worked around other peoples crazy to create a peaceful and semi-normal Thanksgiving. Everybody in the family would bring a dish and enjoy a great meal. One of the family favorites was a Sweet Potato Casserole. A stunningly beautiful and brilliant member of the family Karly always brought this Casserole to Thanksgiving after years of perfecting it.



Then one dark stormy Sunday morning 4 years ago in the back row of Church one member of the family Brenda met a man named Dave. Brenda and Dave hit it off right away and got married rather quickly. Suddenly this crazy family had a new member in it. Where will Dave's crazy fit into the family's crazy?

Dave is one of those blow hard, know it all, crush the other person with verbal abuse kinda of people. One day tried to tell Karly what it was like to be pregnant... yes DAVE tried to tell KARLY (mother of 5) what it's like to be pregnant. When Karly questioned his credentials on what it's like to be pregnant she was put down and treated with much disrespect. Karly quickly decided she would no longer engage Dave in nastiness which only pissed him off more. Dave not only creates arguments he does his best to win them and be right by doing his best to put the other person down and make them feel stupid. Karly is amused by Dave... and very much so.

Seasons changed and Thanksgiving rolled around again. Karly showed up for dinner with her usual and delicious Sweet Potato Casserole. Did I mention this was a family favorite? When Dave showed up he saw Karly's Casserole and very upset. It seems that Dave always did the Casserole for his family. In an ever so loving attempt to fit in with the family crazy Dave immediately threw a temper tantrum that Karly had already brought one. Dave believed that since he took care of this for his family that the whole universe should have known this was HIS dish. Karly somehow missed the memo. After a verbal lashing from Dave, Karly questioned why she shouldn't bring the Casserole when it's been her thing for 10 years and Dave hadn't even been around for 1! Trying to not make waves Karly decided she wouldn't bring it the following year. Family members protested and insisted that Karly bring her specialty dish to the dinner table every year. Since she is always willing to please she agreed. She politely sampled Dave's dish and complimented him on it. Dave then went on to tell Karly at length how superior his dish was to hers.

Every Thanksgiving that passed tension was building... Dave was resentful of Karly for continuing to bring this Casserole. It could not go unnoticed that Karly's Casserole was disappearing quickly while his remained with a few polite spoon fulls taken out.

This Thanksgiving Karly went about her normal business and made her Casserole to bring to dinner. Upon walking in Karly saw Dave and smiled, wished him a Happy Thanksgiving and asked how Dave was doing. Dave gave a nasty look to Karly and just walked away. While in the kitchen Karly was putting the finishing touches on her dish and noticed Dave was standing in front of the oven. Karly asked where the pot holders were so she could remove the Casserole from the oven before it burned. Dave snapped at Karly that he ONLY knows where the pot holders were at HIS house. Karly found the pot holders and went to open the oven but Dave wouldn't move. He wanted her Casserole to burn. What Dave didn't know is Karly doesn't get walked all over and knows how to stand up for herself. After saying excuse me with a smile and Dave not moving Karly simply opened the oven door forcing Dave to jump out of the way as to not get burned.

Dinner is over and Brenda and Dave are getting ready to leave. Karly asks Brenda if she is going shopping tomorrow. Dave speaks up and says "NO, I have to work tomorrow!" First off Karly wasn't even speaking to Dave. She was pretty sure Brenda was able to go shopping all on her own. Secondly, Karly wasn't impressed. You see Dave has had issues keeping a job. Karly's husband works his ass off working 2 jobs to provide for his family. Karly simply smiled and wished Brenda a Happy Thanksgiving. Another dirty look and more tension and hatred hurled at Karly from Dave's spirit and they were gone.

Karly is now home with her family and curled up on the couch with her best furry friend Bonkers. However she did notice before leaving that once again her Casserole was gone and Dave's Casserole remained on the counter to later be tossed in the trash... and that's even AFTER everybody took home leftovers. Only 364 days until the next battle of the Sweet Potato Casserole.

Disclaimer... Any resemblance to situations or family members past or present of Kellybean are strictly coincidental.... ;)